My spine supported by the trunk of the tree. Root down,
sinking through the ground and holding onto the sky with my hair
sliding
underground
a doe drinks water from the pond.
A jonquil. the soul flower. splash
of yellow in the dark.
PURIM-- turn the world upside-down.
water in the sky. yellow flower like the sun.
roots become branches; branches turn into roots.
The doe no longer hiding underground, drinking in the dark.
Now we are drinking from the water in pure light.
Turn the world on its head.
frost melts. water turns.
is so sweet. intoxicating. like wine
until you forgot the difference between blessed Haman
blessed Mordecai because no one is cursed any longer
now that the water is out
and you know what it means that it's one.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Raise your hands in the air!
On Purim, we read Parshat Zachor, " Remember what Amalek perpetrated against you on the way when you were going out of Egypt. When they chanced upon you en route and struck down your appendage-- all the feeble ones behind you-- and you were exhausted and wearied, and they had no fear of God. When Hashem, your God, has given you repose from all your enemies all around, in the land that Hashem, your God, is giving you as a territory to inherit, you shall obliterate the memory of Amalek from beneath the sky; do not forget." (Devarim, Ki Teitzei; 18-19)
So what is the passage about? What did Amalek do to us that we must remember? And also, why the reminder not to forget that we are to obliterate the memory of Amalek? So to understand what Parshat Zachor is speaking about, we read yud-zayin of parshat Beshalach on Purim. In that Parsha, Amalek attacks us in the desert after we leave Mitzrayim.
There are a couple of main themes to look at that can open this story up for us and teach us something very important. Let's look at the water and thirst as well as the mentioning of hands.
"They camped at Rephidim." Rephidim comes from, "Raphu Yaddaim," meaning their hands were weak. And in this place where their hands were weak, there was no water for them to drink.We know that water is a metaphore for Torah. Also, this event occurs shortly before the revelation of the torah at Sinai. In the simple understanding of this event, B'nai Yisroel is being grumpy and complaining for water. I want to suggest that they were not just whining, however, but that really something very deep was going on, and that Hashem set up B'nai Yisroel so that the events would purposefully happen in this way.
The Ishbitzer Rebbe teaches in sefer Bais Yaacov that we can have two types of relationships with God. We can relate to him with our hands, reaching out and holding on to him. In this way, we relate to him through our hands and through our actions and mitzvot. Our hands are strong. OR we can relate to him in a way in which he is guiding us from a hidden place high above our minds' capacity to understand. When we have this type of relationship with Hashem, it may seem that he is not with us. We might feel an emptiness and a thirst for Hashem's hand. In this case, we might also use the excuse that he is guiding us from such a high place that we don't have to do anything because we don't understand and because maybe he is there, but so far away. If we do say this, our actions and our 'hands' become weak. When we are weak, we get to a place of thirst. We thirst for meaning, we thirst to fill a void, we thirst for God's hand to be close and known to us. For example, on Purim, we give shlach manos. Reb Shlomo teaches that "yadid" (Hebrew for friends) is like "yad-yad" (hand-hand). Sometimes we put out our hand and we don't want shlach manos. We don't want any thing. We don't want tzeddakah. We just want our friend's hand.
In a similar way, at Rephidim, maybe what we were complaining about was that we didn't want God's far-away guidance. We wanted to feel his hand in our hand. We wanted water, or torah, but Hashem would put us through some tests first. Before we get the torah, we have to fight Amalek.
Just before we fight Amalek, and before even getting a preliminary taste of water, we ask, "Is Hashem with us or is he not?" The Hebrew word used for "not" is "Ayin." Ayin means more than just "not." Ayin means the apex of the yud, or rather, the part of Hashem that is there, but far beyond our knowledge or choice. We are asking, God, are you the far away God or are you here with us holding our hand?
We were thirsty. We wanted torah, but if you are the far away God, than maybe it doesn't really matter what we do down here one way or the other. As soon as we begin to think that way, that is precisely when Amalek attacks. Amalek, however, takes these thoughts to the extreme He says, not only does it not matter, but nothing matters. You think God is just distant? Stop fooling yourself. God is not even there. None of it matters. Give it up.
Only after we fight off these thoughts will our thirst really be quenched and we can receive the torah.
During the battle, we see that when Moshe's hands are raised, (as an expression of faith and connection to Hashem), Israel prevails, but when his hands fall, Amalek prevails. What is "yadav emunah," or "hands of faith," as Moshe's hands are called? Besides the obvious expression of reaching up to God, the phrase also shows that sometimes we first have to act with our hands in order to have or develop the faith. But if our hands are weak, we loose faith, and Amalek attacks.
Nevertheless, God set things up to play out in this way so that we would have to really thirst for him and for torah before we would receive it. We would not just get torah, but we would have to fight for our faith, fight to keep our hands raised in the air and fight to keep Amalek out and to obliterate him forever.
Going back to parshat Zachor, we see that this was is not yet over, but that right now in the present it is time for us to really fight this battle. It says, "when Hashem your God has given you repose from all your enemies around in the land that Hashem your God is giving you as territory to inherit, you shall obliterate the memory of Amalek from beneath the sky. Do not forget." Now, Hashem has given us the land of Israel. Our enemies surround us and yet, thank God, here I am learning torah in Yerushalayim ir ha Kodesh. So now, more than ever, it is time the time that we are told to obliterate the memory of Amalek. How? Even though Hashem promises "I will totally obliterate the memory of Amalek," we also have to do our work from this end, our hishtadlut. So, when Moshe has his hands raised, Israel prevails. We should learn from this that in order to beat Amalek and evil, we too, have to keep our hands of faith and action, raised. And on Purim, when we give shlach manos, we are holding hands with our friends. In turn, hashem will see our kindness and when he sees our hands raised out to him, he will hold our hand as well.
So what is the passage about? What did Amalek do to us that we must remember? And also, why the reminder not to forget that we are to obliterate the memory of Amalek? So to understand what Parshat Zachor is speaking about, we read yud-zayin of parshat Beshalach on Purim. In that Parsha, Amalek attacks us in the desert after we leave Mitzrayim.
There are a couple of main themes to look at that can open this story up for us and teach us something very important. Let's look at the water and thirst as well as the mentioning of hands.
"They camped at Rephidim." Rephidim comes from, "Raphu Yaddaim," meaning their hands were weak. And in this place where their hands were weak, there was no water for them to drink.We know that water is a metaphore for Torah. Also, this event occurs shortly before the revelation of the torah at Sinai. In the simple understanding of this event, B'nai Yisroel is being grumpy and complaining for water. I want to suggest that they were not just whining, however, but that really something very deep was going on, and that Hashem set up B'nai Yisroel so that the events would purposefully happen in this way.
The Ishbitzer Rebbe teaches in sefer Bais Yaacov that we can have two types of relationships with God. We can relate to him with our hands, reaching out and holding on to him. In this way, we relate to him through our hands and through our actions and mitzvot. Our hands are strong. OR we can relate to him in a way in which he is guiding us from a hidden place high above our minds' capacity to understand. When we have this type of relationship with Hashem, it may seem that he is not with us. We might feel an emptiness and a thirst for Hashem's hand. In this case, we might also use the excuse that he is guiding us from such a high place that we don't have to do anything because we don't understand and because maybe he is there, but so far away. If we do say this, our actions and our 'hands' become weak. When we are weak, we get to a place of thirst. We thirst for meaning, we thirst to fill a void, we thirst for God's hand to be close and known to us. For example, on Purim, we give shlach manos. Reb Shlomo teaches that "yadid" (Hebrew for friends) is like "yad-yad" (hand-hand). Sometimes we put out our hand and we don't want shlach manos. We don't want any thing. We don't want tzeddakah. We just want our friend's hand.
In a similar way, at Rephidim, maybe what we were complaining about was that we didn't want God's far-away guidance. We wanted to feel his hand in our hand. We wanted water, or torah, but Hashem would put us through some tests first. Before we get the torah, we have to fight Amalek.
Just before we fight Amalek, and before even getting a preliminary taste of water, we ask, "Is Hashem with us or is he not?" The Hebrew word used for "not" is "Ayin." Ayin means more than just "not." Ayin means the apex of the yud, or rather, the part of Hashem that is there, but far beyond our knowledge or choice. We are asking, God, are you the far away God or are you here with us holding our hand?
We were thirsty. We wanted torah, but if you are the far away God, than maybe it doesn't really matter what we do down here one way or the other. As soon as we begin to think that way, that is precisely when Amalek attacks. Amalek, however, takes these thoughts to the extreme He says, not only does it not matter, but nothing matters. You think God is just distant? Stop fooling yourself. God is not even there. None of it matters. Give it up.
Only after we fight off these thoughts will our thirst really be quenched and we can receive the torah.
During the battle, we see that when Moshe's hands are raised, (as an expression of faith and connection to Hashem), Israel prevails, but when his hands fall, Amalek prevails. What is "yadav emunah," or "hands of faith," as Moshe's hands are called? Besides the obvious expression of reaching up to God, the phrase also shows that sometimes we first have to act with our hands in order to have or develop the faith. But if our hands are weak, we loose faith, and Amalek attacks.
Nevertheless, God set things up to play out in this way so that we would have to really thirst for him and for torah before we would receive it. We would not just get torah, but we would have to fight for our faith, fight to keep our hands raised in the air and fight to keep Amalek out and to obliterate him forever.
Going back to parshat Zachor, we see that this was is not yet over, but that right now in the present it is time for us to really fight this battle. It says, "when Hashem your God has given you repose from all your enemies around in the land that Hashem your God is giving you as territory to inherit, you shall obliterate the memory of Amalek from beneath the sky. Do not forget." Now, Hashem has given us the land of Israel. Our enemies surround us and yet, thank God, here I am learning torah in Yerushalayim ir ha Kodesh. So now, more than ever, it is time the time that we are told to obliterate the memory of Amalek. How? Even though Hashem promises "I will totally obliterate the memory of Amalek," we also have to do our work from this end, our hishtadlut. So, when Moshe has his hands raised, Israel prevails. We should learn from this that in order to beat Amalek and evil, we too, have to keep our hands of faith and action, raised. And on Purim, when we give shlach manos, we are holding hands with our friends. In turn, hashem will see our kindness and when he sees our hands raised out to him, he will hold our hand as well.
Monday, February 22, 2010
The Deepest Purim
Lately, we are learning a lot about Purim. Here are some of my thoughts that are inspired by teaching from Reb Shlomo, from Rabbi Avraham Sutton and his book "Purim Light," from Sara Idit Sneider's book "Purim Bursts" and from other teachers and teachings as well. One thing that the Purim story teaches us is that Hashem is truly everywhere and in everything, in the good, in Mordechai the tzaddik, and even in the sitra achra, the evil, that which pretends an identity that could be other than hashem, Haman, even there Hashem is present, and not just present, but really that is all there is, so of course we have to love each other, love every thing, and everyone as ourself, because we are all one. Not only that, but in the Likutei Mohoran we also learn that even if someone is evil, there is some small space in them where they did something good, even if it was only once. An example is that maybe there is a thief, but maybe just once when he was a boy his father gave him money to buy a carton of milk. And maybe that one time, he used the money to do as his father asked instead of getting candy with it. So if we see that good part of them, no matter how big or small it is, we place them in a positive space, and it is like magic how they become that part of them that is good, even if it is small. You know the scales of justice? Well when you place someone in your mind in a positive space, you are really placing them on the positive scale. We can change the world with our perception!
Shema Yisroel, if only we could really hear, for just a moment, as we did at Sinai, SHEMA please people of the house of Israel, hear it in your heart that Hashem, the everything, the only, the infinite whose presence is concealed in this world, so concealed that often times it is easy to think that he is not real or is not here, our Gd, that was before creation, during, and will be after and forever, it is all one, oneness. One. If only we would know this, then we would know that it is all an illusion-- Sitra Achra is 'other' or evil. Evil means something that suggests that it can be other than Hashem (from Sara Idit Sneider's 'Purim Blast'). This is Haman. This is Amalek. This is everything that is evil in this world. But if we would only know for a moment, all of us, on a collective level, that there can be nothing other, than the evil would hang itself in the same way that Haman built the very gallow on which he was hung!!!!
What does it mean to be holy? What is holiness? Holiness means to be whole. It does not mean to be physical, but it does not mean to be spiritual. It means to be both in a balanced way-- individually and collectively. We must strive for wholiness.
So look at this: Esther is the Shechina. She is the divine soul, the Gdly presence as it is in this world, and that part of Hashem that we can connect to because it is the part that resides in our world, and that will finally find a comfortable home in our world in the days of Meshiach, which is so soon. So soon you can feel it. If only we can raise everyone's consciousness: wake up and Shema! The Schechina will no longer be trapped in Ahashverosh's castle. Ester and the Shechina, like the Princess from the song of songs, will be freed. That is Ester.
Mordecai is the righteous tzaddik. Haman is his mirror image, his opposite that is also a part of himself. Haman is Amalek, doubt, Sitra Achra, evil, or 'otherness,' the opposite of Kedusha. Haman is the part of himself that Mordechai must face in order that Ester/ the Shechina can reunite with the King, Ha Melech with a big K. When the magila refers to the KING, we can also read that as talking about God because God is so concealed in our world and in the Purim story that his name is not actually mentioned, not even once.
But what does it means that Haman and the King, basically Hashem and evil, are in this together? Haman told the king to destroy the Jewish people and the king agrees so easily? No, it can't be. So what is going on? The answer is multifaceted, but there are a few things to look at here.
While this played out historically with the real Esther and Mordechai, it could also have just as easily been a drama going on in Mordechai's head/imagination, and therefore it is also repeating in our minds as well. Take a look:
In order for Mordechai to initially face Esther, he must first have experienced this situation with Haman. In the allegory, ir order for the tzaddik to meet the higher levels of his soul or the schechina that dwells within himself, he has to go through many trials in order to reach a state where he can access those parts of himself. The trial is embodied by Haman, but it is essential to realize that, since Hashem is one, and everything is therefore of Hashem, Haman could not even exist without some spark of holiness in him. Therefore, the separation between Mordechai and Haman is only an illusion-- an illusion that has a harsh reality and severe consequences, but an illusion nonetheless. The idea that anything can be purely other than hashem cannot be true, and therefore, the idea that Haman or evil is separate is, at it's core, in our heads. If Mordechai, if you, if I, could truely believe in the pure oneness of Hashem, and if we could understand that not only intllectually, but fully, fully with all our being, than the Haman and all evil would simply melt away and hang itself on the very gallows it built, as happened to Haman. In order for Mordechai to beat Haman, or evil, he must go through Esther. That is to say, he must first connect with the higher parts of his soul. He must then entreat those higher levels of his soul to communicate with Hashem and he must pray to be able to break the illusion and defeat Haman.
So Mordechai is the physical body and tzaddik (righteous person)
Esther is the hidden and higher levels of the soul that can be accessed from this physical plane
And Haman is the yetzer harah/ evil, but really still apart of the oneness.
To reiterate and explain it a little more:
Mordechai is the physical tzaddik or the nefesh. There is evil in the world that he has to overcome (Haman/ Amalek). So, Mordechai must connect with Esther, thehigher levels of his soul or the schechina, and Esther or those higher levels of the soul, must go even higher and plead to God to nullify the evil. By the time Mordechai would have arrived at the state where his soul would be face to face with Hashem, (which corresponds to Esther facing the King and touching the golden scepter), his soul wouldh ave already gone through the process of understanding the true oneness. Before Ester faces the King, she fasts for three days and really prays and prays. Then, before reaching him, she must walk through a long hallway full of statues of the Persian Idols. So, as the Schechina is almost to the king, she must first get by al the idols. The idols represent all the doubt that Esther has. The statues are the evil in the world that say to her, what's the point? You won't save your people. Who do you think you are? You might as well give up! But Esther overcomes these thoughts. So, by he time Mordechai understands all of this in his head, meaning by the time he understands Hashem's true oneness and by the time the higher levels of his soul over come any remaining doubt, evil has ready melted away and hanged itself-- Haman is done for.
Evil exists for many reasons and maybe we cannot understand them, but we can learn from these ideas that one reason evil exists in order for us to pray and ask for it to go away. What is the point of that? We must see how it is necessary that we go through this entire process. For example, if Haman never existed, Mordechai would never have gone through the process of connecting with his higher self (Esther) and with Hashem (The King). When we pray and ask for this elimination of evil, we go through the process of understanding that the things we want to disappear do not hold a true existence of their own anyway. In order to ask God to do away with evil, we must go throw the process of realizing that Hashem is one and those things do not hold any true power or force of their own. Once we understand the true oneness of Hashem, evil will have no power over us any longer.
Happy Purim!!!!!!!!!!!
Shema Yisroel, if only we could really hear, for just a moment, as we did at Sinai, SHEMA please people of the house of Israel, hear it in your heart that Hashem, the everything, the only, the infinite whose presence is concealed in this world, so concealed that often times it is easy to think that he is not real or is not here, our Gd, that was before creation, during, and will be after and forever, it is all one, oneness. One. If only we would know this, then we would know that it is all an illusion-- Sitra Achra is 'other' or evil. Evil means something that suggests that it can be other than Hashem (from Sara Idit Sneider's 'Purim Blast'). This is Haman. This is Amalek. This is everything that is evil in this world. But if we would only know for a moment, all of us, on a collective level, that there can be nothing other, than the evil would hang itself in the same way that Haman built the very gallow on which he was hung!!!!
What does it mean to be holy? What is holiness? Holiness means to be whole. It does not mean to be physical, but it does not mean to be spiritual. It means to be both in a balanced way-- individually and collectively. We must strive for wholiness.
So look at this: Esther is the Shechina. She is the divine soul, the Gdly presence as it is in this world, and that part of Hashem that we can connect to because it is the part that resides in our world, and that will finally find a comfortable home in our world in the days of Meshiach, which is so soon. So soon you can feel it. If only we can raise everyone's consciousness: wake up and Shema! The Schechina will no longer be trapped in Ahashverosh's castle. Ester and the Shechina, like the Princess from the song of songs, will be freed. That is Ester.
Mordecai is the righteous tzaddik. Haman is his mirror image, his opposite that is also a part of himself. Haman is Amalek, doubt, Sitra Achra, evil, or 'otherness,' the opposite of Kedusha. Haman is the part of himself that Mordechai must face in order that Ester/ the Shechina can reunite with the King, Ha Melech with a big K. When the magila refers to the KING, we can also read that as talking about God because God is so concealed in our world and in the Purim story that his name is not actually mentioned, not even once.
But what does it means that Haman and the King, basically Hashem and evil, are in this together? Haman told the king to destroy the Jewish people and the king agrees so easily? No, it can't be. So what is going on? The answer is multifaceted, but there are a few things to look at here.
While this played out historically with the real Esther and Mordechai, it could also have just as easily been a drama going on in Mordechai's head/imagination, and therefore it is also repeating in our minds as well. Take a look:
In order for Mordechai to initially face Esther, he must first have experienced this situation with Haman. In the allegory, ir order for the tzaddik to meet the higher levels of his soul or the schechina that dwells within himself, he has to go through many trials in order to reach a state where he can access those parts of himself. The trial is embodied by Haman, but it is essential to realize that, since Hashem is one, and everything is therefore of Hashem, Haman could not even exist without some spark of holiness in him. Therefore, the separation between Mordechai and Haman is only an illusion-- an illusion that has a harsh reality and severe consequences, but an illusion nonetheless. The idea that anything can be purely other than hashem cannot be true, and therefore, the idea that Haman or evil is separate is, at it's core, in our heads. If Mordechai, if you, if I, could truely believe in the pure oneness of Hashem, and if we could understand that not only intllectually, but fully, fully with all our being, than the Haman and all evil would simply melt away and hang itself on the very gallows it built, as happened to Haman. In order for Mordechai to beat Haman, or evil, he must go through Esther. That is to say, he must first connect with the higher parts of his soul. He must then entreat those higher levels of his soul to communicate with Hashem and he must pray to be able to break the illusion and defeat Haman.
So Mordechai is the physical body and tzaddik (righteous person)
Esther is the hidden and higher levels of the soul that can be accessed from this physical plane
And Haman is the yetzer harah/ evil, but really still apart of the oneness.
To reiterate and explain it a little more:
Mordechai is the physical tzaddik or the nefesh. There is evil in the world that he has to overcome (Haman/ Amalek). So, Mordechai must connect with Esther, thehigher levels of his soul or the schechina, and Esther or those higher levels of the soul, must go even higher and plead to God to nullify the evil. By the time Mordechai would have arrived at the state where his soul would be face to face with Hashem, (which corresponds to Esther facing the King and touching the golden scepter), his soul wouldh ave already gone through the process of understanding the true oneness. Before Ester faces the King, she fasts for three days and really prays and prays. Then, before reaching him, she must walk through a long hallway full of statues of the Persian Idols. So, as the Schechina is almost to the king, she must first get by al the idols. The idols represent all the doubt that Esther has. The statues are the evil in the world that say to her, what's the point? You won't save your people. Who do you think you are? You might as well give up! But Esther overcomes these thoughts. So, by he time Mordechai understands all of this in his head, meaning by the time he understands Hashem's true oneness and by the time the higher levels of his soul over come any remaining doubt, evil has ready melted away and hanged itself-- Haman is done for.
Evil exists for many reasons and maybe we cannot understand them, but we can learn from these ideas that one reason evil exists in order for us to pray and ask for it to go away. What is the point of that? We must see how it is necessary that we go through this entire process. For example, if Haman never existed, Mordechai would never have gone through the process of connecting with his higher self (Esther) and with Hashem (The King). When we pray and ask for this elimination of evil, we go through the process of understanding that the things we want to disappear do not hold a true existence of their own anyway. In order to ask God to do away with evil, we must go throw the process of realizing that Hashem is one and those things do not hold any true power or force of their own. Once we understand the true oneness of Hashem, evil will have no power over us any longer.
Happy Purim!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Revealing the Oneness
Parshat Yitro
Briefly, Yitro is Moshe's father in law, Tzipporah's (Moshe's wife) father. He was a Middianite Priest, but when he heard of the wonders that had happened to the Jewish people, he came to join them. Yitro also helped Moshe to organize a judicial system. Also, Yitro is the Parsha in which with receive the torah (10 commandments) at Mt Sinai.
In Parshat Yitro, so much happens! But I want to focus on one lesson that we can learn from this Parsha. I want to look at what we can learn from the parsha about the Shema.
Shema Yisroel, Hashem, Elokeynu, Hashem Echad!
This is the Shema: the first prayer a Jewish child learns to say, and the last thing a Jew says before he dies. But what does it mean?
Hear O Israel, The Lord is our God, the Lord is one?
I mean, I guess. That's what the translation says in my siddur.
But that's not what it really means. That's not the heart and soul of it.
The Shema is very important to us. We say is at least two times a day, although often times more. It is what is written in the mezuzot that we hang on our doorposts, and it is written inside of men's tefillin. I want to explore a little more what the Shema really means. Let's take it word by word.
Also, this torah is my own take on everything I have been learning recently, but especially influenced by Reb. Shlomo Carlebach.
Shema:
Hear. Listen and hear. Hear so well the you see the voices.
What does it mean to really hear someone?
You are talking to you mother, your child, a friend, your spouse... Someone is trying to tell you something that he or she feels is important. You are listening. You hear the words she is saying. But do you really hear her? Do you really hear what she, in the depths of her heart, is trying to relay to you? Even if you are really listening with all your attention, it is almost impossible to really and truly hear what that person wants to say to you. It is even less likely because part of what we mean to say is already lost as soon as we try and put our thoughts and feelings into words. So to really hear something someone else wants to convey from their heart--- that is nearly impossible.
At mount Sinai, we heard so well that we saw the voices. It says, " and all the nation saw the voices."
How is it possible to see voices? When Gd spoke to us at Mt. Sinai, he didn't just speak to us and we heard him as if a big voice came over a loudspeaker. At Mt. Sinai, Gd gave us the torah. What does that mean? What does it mean that he spoke to us and gave us the torah? Gd says to us, "I am the lord your Gd who brought you out of the land of Egypt..." The hebrew word Gd uses for "i" is not the usual word for I, "Ani." Rather, Gd says, "Anochi." We must realize that it is very important to understand not just the english translation of the torah because the hebrew words and letters contain within themselves so much depth and meaning that is lost in translation. What does "Anochi" (I) mean here? One suggestion is the Anochi is actually standing for four aramaic words: Ani (I) Nafshi (my soul) Catavti (I wrote it down) Yehavit (and I hand it over to you). That is what torah is. Torah is the Anochi, the "I", the essence of Hashem. Torah is the soul of Hashem written down. We also learn that Gd spoke the world into being. Therefore, to see the voices was to strip away everything, all the concealment, all the garments, all the obstructions, so that we could literally see the voice of Hashem; Hashem was revealed in such a complete way. In fact, the revelation was so complete that we learn that at Sinai, we stopped having an existence of our own because the revelation was so complete that we saw how everyone was one.... really one, and we were becoming swallowed up in the oneness. Everything is still one now, but at Sinai, it was so clear.
But before moving on, we could also see the voices because everything was so much one that our bodies were also one, and there was no separation between eyes and ears, or between anything for that matter....
Shema! Hear. Hear the oneness.
Shema Yisroel. Hear, Israel! Why Israel? Because it was the Nation of Israel that received the torah, that received this revelation of the oneness of Gd. Mind you, by "oneness of Gd" I don't exactly mean only to say that there is only one Gd. Of course, it is true that there is only one Gd, but that is because there is only Gd because everything in existence is actually apart of the same oneness, which we call Gd, but I will expand more on that shortly. So why Israel? What does it mean for us to have received the torah? What does it mean that Gd calls us his "Special treasure?" What does it mean to be chosen people? Here is what it means: This I learned from Reb Shlomo: We are chosen to tell all of the nations of the world that we are all chosen. That's what it all comes down to. Of course, in the meantime, it is actually much more complicated. We have mitzvot, we have rules and regulations, but the heart and soul of it is that. We are chosen to teach the world that everyone is chosen.
Shema Yisroel, Hear Israel, Hashem:
The word that is spelled Yud and then kay and then vav and then kay. We don't say this word. Instead, we say "hashem," which literally means, "the name." We say "the name" to refer to Gd, because ultimately, how can we know what to call Gd? I personally don't like calling it Gd because I think that word misleads a lot of people. To call it "the name," however, I think is appropriate, because it recognizes that we cannot define Gd, we cannot explain what it is, how is works, how it thinks, or anything. As Elijah says in Petach Eliyahu, "No thought grasps you (Hashem) at all!" So what is the word Yud and kay and vav and kay? It is the name that is the essence of what Gd is, whatever the may be. But also, note that if we did not exist, a name for Gd would not even be necessary, because who needs a name if you are all alone? So the fact that there is a name is already from our perspective and symbolizes some sort of relationship between the infinite and us. And that is what this name of Gd is: it is a connector between the infiniteness of Gd and the finite world. In kabbalistic teachings, (from the little that I know, which is actually a lot less than a little, but it is still fascinating and worth sharing) each letter symbolizes something different.
The Apex of the Yud is significant of the will, when creation was but a desire. It corresponds to the highest level of the soul, the Yechida, which is already swimming with the oneness of hashem that is concealed to us.
The Yud is the mind. It is a small dot-like letter and represents the speck that was the beginning of the begining. Now creation has moved into the 'mind' of Gd. (Please understand that all words used to describe Gd or anything transcendent can only really work as metaphors, so please understand them as such). The Yud also corresponds to the Chaya level of the soul.
The hay is when creation is now an active thought within the mind. The hay is the neshama level of the soul.
The vav is a physically long letter and it represents drawing down these higher levels into the lower worlds. The vav is the ruach level of the soul. It corresponds to speech, as Gd "Spoke" (or rather, speaks) the world(s) into being.
And finally the last hay is the action, the actual creation, the world of action in which we live, and the nefesh. The nefesh is the part of the soul that is actually flowing through our blood. It is the most accessible part of our soul, but it is also easiest for this part of our soul to get confused and to fall in love with our bodies and the physical world. I really wish I could explain this better, but I really can't so I am sorry. I only wanted to show very briefly that there is significance to each letter of hashem's name in how it draws the very high spiritual energy or creative force into our realm of existence.
Here is a chart of some thins that correspond to the letters, but I will not elaborate of them here.
Tetragrammaton World Soul Level Human Manifestation Element
apex of yud Adam Cadamon Yechida Will
Yud Atzilut Chaya Mind Fire
Hay Beriyah Neshama Thought Air
Vav Yetzirah Ruach Speech water
Hay Asiyah Nefesh Action Earth
Shema Yisroel, Hashem... Elokaynu
There is more to "Elokaynu" than I will do it justice, but this word is translated as "our Gd." It is also "judge," but what I especially notice about this word is the "our" part. The "nu." It isn't just "Gd," but rather "Our Gd." This word acknowledges a personal relationship between "Gd", the creator, the infinite, the everything, and us. This word is the romance. It is the love part of the love story.
Shema Yisroel Hashem Elokeynu,...... Hashem Echad!
First hashem is ours, and now hashem is echad, one.
What does it mean that Hashem is one? It means there is only one Gd? Well, I guess so, but that's not really what is means. It means that Hashem is one and that therefore everything is one, because everything is a part of Gd. "Hashem", the yud and kay and vav and kay, the drawing of the infinite to the finite, is all one, every step of the way. If everything is one, than "Gd" is literally everywhere and in everything. If we were able to really see for just an instance, we wouldn't see each others' faces and colors and features and haircuts, and fashion, etc. We would see pure light, pure Gdly light. When Moshe came down from the mountain, his face shone pure light.
So what happened at Sinai? How is it that we could see the voices? Hear with our eyes? Because at Sinai, we received the torah, Gd wrote down his soul and gave it over to us. At Sinai, the oneness of Gd was revealed. Our egos gave away and we knew that we were all connected, we were all created by the same force, and we were all one. Our eyes and our ears knew it, too. Our ears gave up their ego, too. They said, "we are one with the rest of our body, we are one with all of creation, and we don't have to be so selfish so we are the only ones who can hear." So the eyes could hear, too. But it wasn't hearing the way we think of hearing. It was literally a revelation of the fact that everything in this world is really one. It is really just hashem. But in life, Hashem conceals himself from us. At Sinai, however, we knew. It is hard for me to explain because I don't really understand. How can I really understand what it means for everything to really be one, to hear with my eyes? I might think I understand, but I can't hear like that.
So what happened? If we saw it then, we saw the oneness of everything then, then what's the big deal? Why isn't it obvious to us now? Because it was too intense. When Gd spoke to us, when he revealed his oneness, we could not longer have our own existence because it was so apparent that everything was actually Gd and he was actually everywhere, so there was no space for us. We were getting swept away in the oneness, so we said for Gd to be quiet and speak only to Moshe. "They said to Moses, "you speak to us, and we will hear, but let Gd not speak to us lest we die." It was too intense.
But now, now it is our job to notice the holiness everywhere, the Gdliness everywhere, in everything in this world. It is our job to see the Gdliness even where it is not obviously revealed to us. We are working, working, working to arrive at a time when it will be like the receiving of the torah again, except for the whole world, with everyone seeing that it really all is oneness. Then there will be no reason to harm your neighbor, or the animals, or the earth, or yourself, because if you harm one thing, it will be so apparent that it is all one big connected system, and harming one thing harms everything else. Then, we will have peace on earth. This is why Parshat yitro is so important, and why the Shema is, too.
Shema yisroel Hashem Elokaynu, hashem echad.
Hear, Israel! Hear it loud and clear! Hear it so fully that you don't just hear it, but you know it with your entire being! That the source of creation, the infinite creative energy that flows through our world and all the worlds that we cannot see, it is drawing down from the high heights into our realm and sustaining us. It has a name because it made us exist and have a relationship with it. And hear this so well that you know it with your entire being and your entire life and everywhere you look, that "hashem" is one, it's all one, it's all one, it's all one. This is so important to know.
Briefly, Yitro is Moshe's father in law, Tzipporah's (Moshe's wife) father. He was a Middianite Priest, but when he heard of the wonders that had happened to the Jewish people, he came to join them. Yitro also helped Moshe to organize a judicial system. Also, Yitro is the Parsha in which with receive the torah (10 commandments) at Mt Sinai.
In Parshat Yitro, so much happens! But I want to focus on one lesson that we can learn from this Parsha. I want to look at what we can learn from the parsha about the Shema.
Shema Yisroel, Hashem, Elokeynu, Hashem Echad!
This is the Shema: the first prayer a Jewish child learns to say, and the last thing a Jew says before he dies. But what does it mean?
Hear O Israel, The Lord is our God, the Lord is one?
I mean, I guess. That's what the translation says in my siddur.
But that's not what it really means. That's not the heart and soul of it.
The Shema is very important to us. We say is at least two times a day, although often times more. It is what is written in the mezuzot that we hang on our doorposts, and it is written inside of men's tefillin. I want to explore a little more what the Shema really means. Let's take it word by word.
Also, this torah is my own take on everything I have been learning recently, but especially influenced by Reb. Shlomo Carlebach.
Shema:
Hear. Listen and hear. Hear so well the you see the voices.
What does it mean to really hear someone?
You are talking to you mother, your child, a friend, your spouse... Someone is trying to tell you something that he or she feels is important. You are listening. You hear the words she is saying. But do you really hear her? Do you really hear what she, in the depths of her heart, is trying to relay to you? Even if you are really listening with all your attention, it is almost impossible to really and truly hear what that person wants to say to you. It is even less likely because part of what we mean to say is already lost as soon as we try and put our thoughts and feelings into words. So to really hear something someone else wants to convey from their heart--- that is nearly impossible.
At mount Sinai, we heard so well that we saw the voices. It says, " and all the nation saw the voices."
How is it possible to see voices? When Gd spoke to us at Mt. Sinai, he didn't just speak to us and we heard him as if a big voice came over a loudspeaker. At Mt. Sinai, Gd gave us the torah. What does that mean? What does it mean that he spoke to us and gave us the torah? Gd says to us, "I am the lord your Gd who brought you out of the land of Egypt..." The hebrew word Gd uses for "i" is not the usual word for I, "Ani." Rather, Gd says, "Anochi." We must realize that it is very important to understand not just the english translation of the torah because the hebrew words and letters contain within themselves so much depth and meaning that is lost in translation. What does "Anochi" (I) mean here? One suggestion is the Anochi is actually standing for four aramaic words: Ani (I) Nafshi (my soul) Catavti (I wrote it down) Yehavit (and I hand it over to you). That is what torah is. Torah is the Anochi, the "I", the essence of Hashem. Torah is the soul of Hashem written down. We also learn that Gd spoke the world into being. Therefore, to see the voices was to strip away everything, all the concealment, all the garments, all the obstructions, so that we could literally see the voice of Hashem; Hashem was revealed in such a complete way. In fact, the revelation was so complete that we learn that at Sinai, we stopped having an existence of our own because the revelation was so complete that we saw how everyone was one.... really one, and we were becoming swallowed up in the oneness. Everything is still one now, but at Sinai, it was so clear.
But before moving on, we could also see the voices because everything was so much one that our bodies were also one, and there was no separation between eyes and ears, or between anything for that matter....
Shema! Hear. Hear the oneness.
Shema Yisroel. Hear, Israel! Why Israel? Because it was the Nation of Israel that received the torah, that received this revelation of the oneness of Gd. Mind you, by "oneness of Gd" I don't exactly mean only to say that there is only one Gd. Of course, it is true that there is only one Gd, but that is because there is only Gd because everything in existence is actually apart of the same oneness, which we call Gd, but I will expand more on that shortly. So why Israel? What does it mean for us to have received the torah? What does it mean that Gd calls us his "Special treasure?" What does it mean to be chosen people? Here is what it means: This I learned from Reb Shlomo: We are chosen to tell all of the nations of the world that we are all chosen. That's what it all comes down to. Of course, in the meantime, it is actually much more complicated. We have mitzvot, we have rules and regulations, but the heart and soul of it is that. We are chosen to teach the world that everyone is chosen.
Shema Yisroel, Hear Israel, Hashem:
The word that is spelled Yud and then kay and then vav and then kay. We don't say this word. Instead, we say "hashem," which literally means, "the name." We say "the name" to refer to Gd, because ultimately, how can we know what to call Gd? I personally don't like calling it Gd because I think that word misleads a lot of people. To call it "the name," however, I think is appropriate, because it recognizes that we cannot define Gd, we cannot explain what it is, how is works, how it thinks, or anything. As Elijah says in Petach Eliyahu, "No thought grasps you (Hashem) at all!" So what is the word Yud and kay and vav and kay? It is the name that is the essence of what Gd is, whatever the may be. But also, note that if we did not exist, a name for Gd would not even be necessary, because who needs a name if you are all alone? So the fact that there is a name is already from our perspective and symbolizes some sort of relationship between the infinite and us. And that is what this name of Gd is: it is a connector between the infiniteness of Gd and the finite world. In kabbalistic teachings, (from the little that I know, which is actually a lot less than a little, but it is still fascinating and worth sharing) each letter symbolizes something different.
The Apex of the Yud is significant of the will, when creation was but a desire. It corresponds to the highest level of the soul, the Yechida, which is already swimming with the oneness of hashem that is concealed to us.
The Yud is the mind. It is a small dot-like letter and represents the speck that was the beginning of the begining. Now creation has moved into the 'mind' of Gd. (Please understand that all words used to describe Gd or anything transcendent can only really work as metaphors, so please understand them as such). The Yud also corresponds to the Chaya level of the soul.
The hay is when creation is now an active thought within the mind. The hay is the neshama level of the soul.
The vav is a physically long letter and it represents drawing down these higher levels into the lower worlds. The vav is the ruach level of the soul. It corresponds to speech, as Gd "Spoke" (or rather, speaks) the world(s) into being.
And finally the last hay is the action, the actual creation, the world of action in which we live, and the nefesh. The nefesh is the part of the soul that is actually flowing through our blood. It is the most accessible part of our soul, but it is also easiest for this part of our soul to get confused and to fall in love with our bodies and the physical world. I really wish I could explain this better, but I really can't so I am sorry. I only wanted to show very briefly that there is significance to each letter of hashem's name in how it draws the very high spiritual energy or creative force into our realm of existence.
Here is a chart of some thins that correspond to the letters, but I will not elaborate of them here.
Tetragrammaton World Soul Level Human Manifestation Element
apex of yud Adam Cadamon Yechida Will
Yud Atzilut Chaya Mind Fire
Hay Beriyah Neshama Thought Air
Vav Yetzirah Ruach Speech water
Hay Asiyah Nefesh Action Earth
Shema Yisroel, Hashem... Elokaynu
There is more to "Elokaynu" than I will do it justice, but this word is translated as "our Gd." It is also "judge," but what I especially notice about this word is the "our" part. The "nu." It isn't just "Gd," but rather "Our Gd." This word acknowledges a personal relationship between "Gd", the creator, the infinite, the everything, and us. This word is the romance. It is the love part of the love story.
Shema Yisroel Hashem Elokeynu,...... Hashem Echad!
First hashem is ours, and now hashem is echad, one.
What does it mean that Hashem is one? It means there is only one Gd? Well, I guess so, but that's not really what is means. It means that Hashem is one and that therefore everything is one, because everything is a part of Gd. "Hashem", the yud and kay and vav and kay, the drawing of the infinite to the finite, is all one, every step of the way. If everything is one, than "Gd" is literally everywhere and in everything. If we were able to really see for just an instance, we wouldn't see each others' faces and colors and features and haircuts, and fashion, etc. We would see pure light, pure Gdly light. When Moshe came down from the mountain, his face shone pure light.
So what happened at Sinai? How is it that we could see the voices? Hear with our eyes? Because at Sinai, we received the torah, Gd wrote down his soul and gave it over to us. At Sinai, the oneness of Gd was revealed. Our egos gave away and we knew that we were all connected, we were all created by the same force, and we were all one. Our eyes and our ears knew it, too. Our ears gave up their ego, too. They said, "we are one with the rest of our body, we are one with all of creation, and we don't have to be so selfish so we are the only ones who can hear." So the eyes could hear, too. But it wasn't hearing the way we think of hearing. It was literally a revelation of the fact that everything in this world is really one. It is really just hashem. But in life, Hashem conceals himself from us. At Sinai, however, we knew. It is hard for me to explain because I don't really understand. How can I really understand what it means for everything to really be one, to hear with my eyes? I might think I understand, but I can't hear like that.
So what happened? If we saw it then, we saw the oneness of everything then, then what's the big deal? Why isn't it obvious to us now? Because it was too intense. When Gd spoke to us, when he revealed his oneness, we could not longer have our own existence because it was so apparent that everything was actually Gd and he was actually everywhere, so there was no space for us. We were getting swept away in the oneness, so we said for Gd to be quiet and speak only to Moshe. "They said to Moses, "you speak to us, and we will hear, but let Gd not speak to us lest we die." It was too intense.
But now, now it is our job to notice the holiness everywhere, the Gdliness everywhere, in everything in this world. It is our job to see the Gdliness even where it is not obviously revealed to us. We are working, working, working to arrive at a time when it will be like the receiving of the torah again, except for the whole world, with everyone seeing that it really all is oneness. Then there will be no reason to harm your neighbor, or the animals, or the earth, or yourself, because if you harm one thing, it will be so apparent that it is all one big connected system, and harming one thing harms everything else. Then, we will have peace on earth. This is why Parshat yitro is so important, and why the Shema is, too.
Shema yisroel Hashem Elokaynu, hashem echad.
Hear, Israel! Hear it loud and clear! Hear it so fully that you don't just hear it, but you know it with your entire being! That the source of creation, the infinite creative energy that flows through our world and all the worlds that we cannot see, it is drawing down from the high heights into our realm and sustaining us. It has a name because it made us exist and have a relationship with it. And hear this so well that you know it with your entire being and your entire life and everywhere you look, that "hashem" is one, it's all one, it's all one, it's all one. This is so important to know.
Lost in the desert
Beshalach
I didn't really write anything for Beshalach. It was also tu Bishvat, the new year of the trees. That week it was a little bit like I myself was wandering through the desert. I was not grounded. I moved from staying at the dorms in one seminary to a hostel in the old city. For shabbas I went to Tzvat and an hour before shabbas my accommodations fell through and I had to find a new place to sleep. There are some really amazing people that I should thank because they treated me like family and didn't even know me. So, it all worked out, and in two days I am moving into an apartment with a few girls in a great location. Very excited. I feel like a lot happened in my life during Parshat Beshalach, and also so much happened in that Parsha: The splitting of the red sea, the celebration of Miriam and all the women with tambourines and singing, entering into the desert, the war with Amalek, etc. At one point, Israel begins traveling in the desert, and as they begin to complain, Gd tells the people to turn around and head back towards Egypt. They do turn around, but they do not go all the way back. They end up turning back around yet again, but nevertheless they had to go backwards a little bit before going forwards. It had to appear to the Egyptians as if they were lost, and maybe it even felt to the Hebrews like they were really lost, but ultimately they continued forward on their correct path. This was a good lesson for me to keep in mind as I was moving from place to place, feeling a little lost, living out of my sleeping bad and off of a diet of nuts and dried fruit. I kept in mind that Israel had to wander around "lost" (but not truly lost) in the desrt before moving forward on their path. So thankfully I am getting to a place where I am becoming a little more settled here. I am very happy, learning a lot, meeting new, amazing people.
I didn't really write anything for Beshalach. It was also tu Bishvat, the new year of the trees. That week it was a little bit like I myself was wandering through the desert. I was not grounded. I moved from staying at the dorms in one seminary to a hostel in the old city. For shabbas I went to Tzvat and an hour before shabbas my accommodations fell through and I had to find a new place to sleep. There are some really amazing people that I should thank because they treated me like family and didn't even know me. So, it all worked out, and in two days I am moving into an apartment with a few girls in a great location. Very excited. I feel like a lot happened in my life during Parshat Beshalach, and also so much happened in that Parsha: The splitting of the red sea, the celebration of Miriam and all the women with tambourines and singing, entering into the desert, the war with Amalek, etc. At one point, Israel begins traveling in the desert, and as they begin to complain, Gd tells the people to turn around and head back towards Egypt. They do turn around, but they do not go all the way back. They end up turning back around yet again, but nevertheless they had to go backwards a little bit before going forwards. It had to appear to the Egyptians as if they were lost, and maybe it even felt to the Hebrews like they were really lost, but ultimately they continued forward on their correct path. This was a good lesson for me to keep in mind as I was moving from place to place, feeling a little lost, living out of my sleeping bad and off of a diet of nuts and dried fruit. I kept in mind that Israel had to wander around "lost" (but not truly lost) in the desrt before moving forward on their path. So thankfully I am getting to a place where I am becoming a little more settled here. I am very happy, learning a lot, meeting new, amazing people.
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