SPEECH

I haven’t had to communicate that much with many people. I have been mostly with close friends and haven’t needed to say much. I am traveling now to the airport, so I will see what’s in store for me the rest of the day. When I was most conscious of my speech was this morning while praying. I tried to pronounce the words very clearly and listen to them. First, I did yoga. Then, I prayed. Yoga includes meditation and often times prayer is included silently into the yoga practice through silent intention, the breath, the meditation, and quiet thoughts to both ourselves and to that something greater, our creator. But there is a difference between that and actually speaking the words of prayer out loud. There is something actualizing about speech. Speech is less tangible than an object, but more than a thought.

Another exercise for this day is to try and be comfortable in silence. Don’t rush to fill the space with talk. The world expects us to joke, to tease, to be light without speech, but what does it feel like when we only use speech for the absolutely necessary and in a one hundred percent honest way, to express and communicate those less tangible thoughts rather than to use speech to mask them. We use speech to greet, thank, to be respectful of others, to express love, to resolve conflict, to ask a question, to give an answer, to help us with out avodat Hashem (Service of God), to pray, etc.

My Hebrew is okay. It is not great, but I can get by. Today however I feel tongue-tied. The Hebrew feels less accessible than usual and I realize how precious language is. Without language, our interpersonal communication must occur through means other than speech. When I cannot use my voice by manipulating it into a language to speak to others, what else can my voice be for? Sometimes I feel spontaneously inspired to use my voice by humming a tune that expresses the emotions of my heart. The melodies are little prayers. They express gratitude mostly, also yearning, and sometimes sadness or pain or happiness that is rooted in gratitude and in knowing that Hashem in guiding me. This knowing I feel even as I feel heaviness at the knowledge that I am on the way to the airport in order to leave Israel for a little while. I feel gratitude that I came, that I was able to listen, that I learned what I learned and met who I met. So many gifts. I feel gratitude because I know that by leaving here I will go somewhere else and see other people and learn and share more things.

Speech is different than writing. Speech is quicker. We can speak faster than we can write, hence, “speaking without thinking.” At least when writing, even in free-flow writing, it takes a second to write out the letters. An exercise is to speak as if it were writing. That is to say, think before speaking. At least take the same amount of time that it would have taken to write out the letters before speaking. Write it out in your head. Also, speak positively. Realize that our speech is the expression of energy vibrations. The vibrations (via tone and words) can carry a negative or a positive energy. By speaking only the positive, we ensure that our speech is only transmitting positive energy.